Marshawn Kneeland other people who are right on the edge

Last week, Dallas Cowboys defensive end, Marshawn Kneeland, died by an apparent suicide.

Two days earlier, he scored his first touchdown in the NFL on Monday Night Football.

I am an Indianapolis Colts fan. The Cowboys are my second LEAST favorite team (just above the New England Patriots).

But, the Cowboys quarterback, Dak Prescott, has always held my respect. He regularly speaks out about mental health, and his grief over his mother, and the trauma of losing his brother, Jace, to suicide in 2020.

I had never heard of Marshawn, but his story is heartbreakingly familiar.

A successful man, who seems to have everything, faces a mental health battle that costs his life.

When I was in my darkest days of burnout, I was depressed, anxious, and had days that I wasn't sure I could go on.

Dan Orlovsky, former backup QB for the Colts, said, “As an athlete, I would’ve never told you I was struggling. … I feel like I’m conditioned like that. I feel like, honestly, as a man I’m conditioned to be that way.”

I can relate. [Not to the athlete part--I can pull a hamstring just getting out of bed.]

I am thankful that I had support.
Thankful that I've had so many opportunities.
And a nearly perfect life.

But that didn't keep me from struggling.
Sometimes, I share the below photo when I speak.
It was taken when I was in a very dark place.
The casual onlooker would never have known.

I am smiling, dressed nice, sporting a fresh haircut, and enjoying the amazing rugby action of the Marian University Knights led by our son, Daniel Riecke.

So, just a reminder that some people who scored a touchdown on MNF, and some people who are leading well at your organization are...

right on the edge.

I got therapy.
I got medication.
I had to make some changes.

And it took years to get to where I am today.

I am glad I made it.

P.S. Kudos to the Colts and Courageous Healing, Inc. with Janell Lane, MA, LMHC and Aaron Lane, MSOL, LSW helping to #kickthestigma.