The Three Biggest Reasons I Burned Out in Healthcare
Burnout rarely has a single cause. For most of us, especially those working in healthcare—it’s the result of a complex, layered set of stressors. That was certainly true for me.
Still, when I look back on my own burnout story, what pushed my heart into an irregular rhythm that required electric shock, what led to my diagnosis of depression and anxiety, three core factors stand out above the rest.
1. The Innate Intensity of Working in Healthcare
Some people say, “It’s not life or death,” to keep things in perspective at work. But in healthcare, it is life or death. Every day.
As an ethics leader in a large health system, I worked closely with teams that were often at the bedside of patients who were dying, or had just died. My phone rang at all hours with urgent, complex, often heartbreaking decisions that couldn’t wait.
The emotional weight was heavy. The decisions were high-stakes. The cost to my nervous system, over time, was immense.
2. An Irresponsible, Absent Leader
For the first several years of my healthcare career, I was fortunate to report to strong, supportive leaders. Then, everything changed.
When I was reassigned to a new leader, I saw the writing on the wall. While I liked this person personally, I knew they had a history of inaction and detachment. During the height of the pandemic, they didn’t step foot in any of our hospitals for over a year—not even for a meeting or lunch.
Meanwhile, my teams and I were in patient rooms every day, dealing with critical shortages, ethical dilemmas, and rapidly evolving crises. When I needed backup, I got silence. When I needed collaboration, I got resistance—or worse, indifference.
I was juggling life-and-death responsibilities, while needing to remind this leader (repeatedly) to approve basic things like mileage reimbursement.
That disconnect made me feel betrayed. Angry. Alone.
3. My Own Personality
The third major factor in my burnout was my own personality.
I’m an Enneagram One. If you’re not familiar with the Enneagram, Ones are known as “reformers.” We’re principled, responsible, and deeply driven to improve systems and uphold what’s right.
That personality served me well for years—until it didn’t.
When the pandemic hit and my leadership support disappeared, my intense sense of personal responsibility turned inward. Everything felt broken, and nothing could be fixed. I kept pushing, trying to hold everything together, even as the system around me changed.
This perfectionistic streak, which once helped me lead effectively, became a liability under the pressure of a global health crisis and institutional difficulties.
Bonus Factors (Honorable Mentions)
Of course, burnout is never just about one or two things. Other contributing factors included:
Long-term understaffing
A decade of being on-call
The cumulative effect of grief and personal loss
Subtle shifts in the organization’s mission
A growing sense of helplessness in the face of systemic breakdowns
But ultimately, the three biggest drivers were:
The emotional intensity of healthcare work
A lack of leadership support when I needed it most
A personality that couldn’t “let up,” even when I was drowning
The lesson? Don’t underestimate the role of leadership in burnout. My job and personality were intense for years—and I didn’t burn out. The turning point was the leadership vacuum.
If you’re a healthcare leader, please hear this: your presence matters. If you’re navigating burnout yourself, know that your experience is real—and it’s not your fault.
