Why Holding Loosely to Your Team Members Actually Increases Retention
Introduction: The Paradox of Employee Retention
Many leaders believe the best way to retain employees is by holding onto them tightly—offering promotions, incentives, and trying to keep them engaged at all costs. But what if the key to long-term commitment isn’t holding on tighter—but rather loosening your grip?
When leaders invest in their people personally, support their goals (even beyond their current role), and create an open-handed culture around career growth, employees actually become less likely to leave.
I’ve lived this firsthand and have seen it time and again with my coaching clients. The leaders who say, “I want to help you grow, even if it means you outgrow this role,” are the ones with the most engaged and committed teams.
Why Holding Tightly Backfires
When leaders try to keep employees locked into their roles, they inadvertently create the conditions for disengagement and turnover:
Lack of Growth = Frustration – Employees who feel like they’ve hit a ceiling will look elsewhere for growth opportunities.
Fear of Change Breeds Resentment – If employees sense their boss doesn’t want them to advance beyond their current job, it can create tension and mistrust.
Micromanagement Kills Buy-In – Employees don’t want to feel owned. They want to feel empowered.
Ironically, the more you try to keep people, the more likely they are to leave.
A Better Approach: Leading with an Open Hand
Here’s what works instead:
Invest in Your Team’s Growth—Even If It Takes Them Elsewhere
Early in my career, I asked my direct reports to complete this sentence three different ways:
“Someday I want to __________.”
The answers could be personal or professional, big or small. It helped them articulate their goals and allowed me, as their leader, to help make those things happen.Did they want to move into leadership? I connected them with mentors.
Did they want to develop new skills? I found training opportunities.
Did they want more flexibility? I explored options to make that happen.
Here’s the kicker: because they knew I cared about their whole career—not just their role on my team—they were more invested in the work we were doing together.
Help Employees See Their Impact
One of the greatest gifts a leader can give is helping employees see their own value—sometimes before they recognize it themselves.
People don’t leave just because another job pays more. They leave when they don’t feel seen, valued, or connected to their work. As a leader, you have the ability to call out their strengths, highlight their impact, and make their contributions visible.Encourage Ownership Over Career Growth
The best teams are made up of individuals who feel agency over their future. Instead of clinging to your employees, equip them to take ownership of their careers. That might mean:Helping them identify their next step
Providing mentorship and development opportunities
Supporting their growth, even when it means they might leave someday
The Result: A More Engaged, Loyal Workforce
When employees feel valued, empowered, and invested in, they don’t want to leave. It’s not just about the paycheck—it’s about the connection, the purpose, and the growth they experience in your organization.
Leaders who hold loosely to their team members win in the long run. Because when you create a culture where people feel seen, supported, and free to grow, they want to stay.
Want to build a workplace that retains great people? Explore my burnout and leadership resources at the top of this page.
