What to Do When Your Manager Doesn’t Understand Burnout
If you’ve ever thought:
"Why can’t my leader just get it?"
You’re not alone.
Since my very first presentation on burnout, this is one of the most common questions I hear from healthcare professionals, educators, and corporate teams alike.
What people really mean is:
"How do I make my leader understand how burnout is impacting us?"
The truth? There’s no single, satisfying answer. But there is a framework that helps. Not all leaders are the same, and your approach should match the type of leader you have.
The Four Types of Leaders (and What to Do With Each One)
I’ve seen these patterns play out repeatedly when coaching leaders and teams on burnout prevention and recovery. Here’s what I’ve learned:
1. Responsible ✅ and Responsive ✅ — The Engaged Leader
This leader gets the work done and listens to their people.
Payroll is accurate and on time.
Feedback is welcomed.
Conversations are open and solutions-focused.
How to work with them:
Book a meeting and propose changes. They’re likely to hear you and help if they can. These leaders are the most effective partners when tackling burnout.
2. Irresponsible ⛔ but Responsive ✅ — The Well-Meaning Wild Card
This leader cares deeply but struggles with consistency.
They’ll fight for you and advocate for your needs.
But they might “forget” to approve payroll until Friday night.
Or they’ll promise change… but lose track of the follow-through.
How to work with them:
Speak up and ask for what you need. And expect to repeat yourself next time. Their heart’s in the right place, but you’ll need patience and persistence.
3. Responsible ✅ but Unresponsive ⛔ — The Policy Keeper
This leader is by-the-book and values rules, policies, and processes above all.
Payroll’s on time.
Performance appraisals are done.
Compliance? Perfect.
But empathy and deep conversations? Not on the agenda.
How to work with them:
If you’re experiencing burnout, don’t expect emotional support here. Instead, lean on existing systems like:
Employee Assistance Programs (EAP)
FMLA leave
Wellbeing initiatives
👋 Boomers, we might be looking at you here. No shade intended! 😆 Many exceptions exist, but this pattern comes up a lot in my coaching conversations.
4. Irresponsible ⛔ and Unresponsive ⛔ — The Brick Wall
This is the toughest leadership style when it comes to burnout.
Policies aren’t signed.
Reimbursements go missing.
Requests are ignored.
And when you bring it up? Crickets.
How to work with them:
You have limited energy. Don’t waste it here.
Focus on supportive peers.
Find allies in other departments.
Explore whether another team — or even another organization — might be healthier for you long-term.
The Hard Truth About Burnout and Leadership
Your approach must change depending on who you’re dealing with.
I’m grateful that I had several “Category 1” leaders during my time in healthcare. But I’ll admit something hard: during my own season of burnout, I wasn’t always the responsible, responsive leader I wanted to be.
I had to own it. I apologized to my team. And I started doing the work to recover.
If you’re trying to make your leader “get it,” remember this:
Not every leader will understand burnout in the same way.
You can’t control their response — but you can control your approach.
Your Turn
Which of these four categories have you worked under the most?
What helped — or didn’t — when you tried to make your leader “get it”?
