Burnout Happens to Good People—And It’s Not Your Fault

Introduction: The Truth About Burnout

Burnout doesn’t happen to people who don’t care. It happens to good people, who want to do good work, who are put into impossible situations over and over again.

That’s the reality.

And yet, when burnout hits, so many people blame themselves. They think:

👉 “Maybe I’m just not strong enough.”
👉 “Maybe I’m not cut out for this work.”
👉 “Why can’t I handle this like everyone else?”

But here’s the truth: Burnout is not a personal failure. It’s a symptom of a broken system.

I’ve lived it. I’ve seen it in my coaching clients. And I know how painful it is to feel like you’re drowning in exhaustion, only to have people tell you to “just take care of yourself” as if that will fix everything.

If you’re feeling burned out, I need you to hear this loud and clear: It’s not your fault.

Burnout is a System Problem, Not a You Problem

Burnout isn’t caused by laziness, weakness, or a lack of resilience. It’s caused by workplaces that repeatedly put employees in impossible situations.

• Unrealistic workloads → You’re constantly asked to do more with fewer resources.

• Moral distress → You know the right thing to do, but the system makes it impossible.

• Lack of recognition → You give everything to your work, but no one acknowledges it.

• Emotional exhaustion → You care deeply, but there’s no space to recover.

It’s not that burned-out employees don’t care—it’s that they care too much in environments that don’t give them the support they need.

Why Good People Burn Out Faster

Ironically, the people who are most likely to burn out are the ones who are the most dedicated.

🔹 You’re passionate about your work → You take on more responsibility.
🔹 You want to make a difference → You push through exhaustion to keep going.
🔹 You care deeply about people → You absorb stress and emotional weight.

And when the system doesn’t support you, that dedication turns into exhaustion, frustration, and eventually, collapse.

The Breaking Point: When Burnout Becomes Too Much

I experienced this firsthand. I remember the moment I realized I couldn’t keep going. The weight of caring so much, in a system that cared so little, finally crushed me.

And I see this happening every day with my coaching clients. They’re good people who just want to do good work—but they’ve reached their breaking point.

The worst part? Many of them think the problem is them. They think they’re weak. They think they should just be able to “push through.”

But that’s not the answer. The answer is recognizing burnout for what it is—a systemic problem that needs a real solution.

What You Can Do If You’re Burned Out

If you’re feeling exhausted, disillusioned, and overwhelmed, here’s where to start:

1. Stop Blaming Yourself

You didn’t cause this. Burnout is not a personal failure—it’s an outcome of your environment. Recognizing this is the first step toward reclaiming your energy.

2. Identify What’s Draining You

Ask yourself:
🔹 What aspects of my job are most exhausting?
🔹 Where do I feel the most frustration?
🔹 What parts of my work make me feel alive, and what parts make me feel depleted?

Burnout happens when the draining parts of your work outweigh the energizing parts. Identifying those patterns can help you make strategic shifts.

3. Set Boundaries Without Guilt

Good people struggle to set boundaries because they don’t want to let others down. But here’s the reality: If you burn out, you can’t help anyone.

• Say no when you need to.

• Take breaks without apologizing.

• Protect your time and energy.

4. Find Meaning in What You Can Control

When the system is broken, you have two choices:

❌ Focus on everything that’s wrong and let it consume you.
✅ Focus on what you can control and find purpose where you can.

Even in dysfunctional workplaces, you can often find meaningful moments—a patient interaction, a supportive coworker, or a project that excites you.

5. Consider a Change—But Do It Thoughtfully

Sometimes, the healthiest thing you can do is leave. But not all burned-out workers need to quit their jobs—sometimes, they just need to change how they work.

• Can you shift your role?

• Can you reduce your hours?

• Can you advocate for a better workload?

Leaving isn’t always the answer, but staying in a toxic environment without making any changes isn’t the answer either.

Final Thoughts: Burnout is a Wake-Up Call, Not a Verdict

If you’re experiencing burnout, don’t ignore it. It’s not just “stress”—it’s a signal that something in your work environment isn’t sustainable.

And most importantly, it’s not your fault.

You’re not weak. You’re not broken. You’re not alone.

And you don’t have to figure this out by yourself.

Want more support? Explore the burnout recovery resources at the top of this page. Because you deserve better than just surviving—you deserve to thrive.

What Hundreds of Oncology Nurses Taught Me About Burnout

Last week in Denver, I stood in front of a room packed with oncology nurses — hundreds of them. These were some of the most dedicated, compassionate professionals in healthcare. But what they shared during our session painted a vivid and sobering picture of what it’s costing them to stay in this work.

Through live polling, they gave us insight into their reality. And while some results were encouraging, others left the room in silence.

The Encouraging Signs: Connection and Psychological Safety

Let’s start with the good news — because there is some.

• 95% of nurses said they have a supportive network of peers at work.

• 88% said they feel safe reporting errors or near misses without fear of retaliation.

• 87% reported feeling comfortable seeking help for their mental health at work.

These numbers point to something essential: psychological safety. Connection among peers. A culture where honesty is possible. These are the building blocks of a healthy work environment.

But that’s not the whole story.

The Warning Signs: Moral Distress and Tragic Losses

• Only 36% of nurses said they can remove themselves from a situation that causes moral distress — where they’re being asked to act against their values or wellbeing.

• And perhaps most sobering: 1 in 3 nurses in the room knew a healthcare worker who has died by suicide.

Read that again. One in three.

The Breaking Point: Burnout Is Nearly Universal

Then came the moment that hit the hardest.

I asked, “Have you experienced at least one symptom of burnout in the last year — emotional exhaustion, cynicism, or a diminished sense of purpose?”

• 90.95% said yes.

• Another 5.6% said maybe.

That’s nearly everyone.

By this point in the session, we’d already spent over an hour defining burnout. These nurses knew exactly what those symptoms meant — and nearly all of them had lived them.

The room went quiet.

You could feel the weight of it.

We Must Keep Talking

Burnout in healthcare isn’t just a workforce issue — it’s a moral one. And if we don’t keep talking about it honestly, without blame or fear, it will continue to steal good people from the work they love.

Whether you lead a team, a department, or an entire health system — now is the time to act.

🔎 Want to Know Where You Stand?

Take my free burnout screening tool at MyBurnoutTest.com. It takes just a few minutes — and could be the first step in starting the right conversation.

Thanks to my co-presenter, Cathy Stubin PhD, RN, CNE, CCRN, and Nimian Bauder, DNP, AGCNS-BC, NPD-BC, EBP-C, for making this session possible. And gratitude to the Oncology Nursing Society for creating space for these crucial conversations.

Burnout Happens to Good People—And It’s Not Your Fault

Introduction: The Truth About Burnout

Burnout doesn’t happen to people who don’t care. It happens to good people, who want to do good work, who are put into impossible situations over and over again.

That’s the reality.

And yet, when burnout hits, so many people blame themselves. They think:

👉 “Maybe I’m just not strong enough.”
👉 “Maybe I’m not cut out for this work.”
👉 “Why can’t I handle this like everyone else?”

But here’s the truth: Burnout is not a personal failure. It’s a symptom of a broken system.

I’ve lived it. I’ve seen it in my coaching clients. And I know how painful it is to feel like you’re drowning in exhaustion, only to have people tell you to “just take care of yourself” as if that will fix everything.

If you’re feeling burned out, I need you to hear this loud and clear: It’s not your fault.

Burnout is a System Problem, Not a You Problem

Burnout isn’t caused by laziness, weakness, or a lack of resilience. It’s caused by workplaces that repeatedly put employees in impossible situations.

• Unrealistic workloads → You’re constantly asked to do more with fewer resources.

• Moral distress → You know the right thing to do, but the system makes it impossible.

• Lack of recognition → You give everything to your work, but no one acknowledges it.

• Emotional exhaustion → You care deeply, but there’s no space to recover.

It’s not that burned-out employees don’t care—it’s that they care too much in environments that don’t give them the support they need.

Why Caring People Burn Out Faster

Ironically, the people who are most likely to burn out are the ones who are the most dedicated.

🔹 You’re passionate about your work → You take on more responsibility.
🔹 You want to make a difference → You push through exhaustion to keep going.
🔹 You care deeply about people → You absorb stress and emotional weight.

And when the system doesn’t support you, that dedication turns into exhaustion, frustration, and eventually, collapse.

The Breaking Point: When Burnout Becomes Too Much

I experienced this firsthand. I remember the moment I realized I couldn’t keep going. The weight of caring so much, in a system that cared so little, finally crushed me.

And I see this happening every day with my coaching clients. They’re good people who just want to do good work—but they’ve reached their breaking point.

The worst part? Many of them think the problem is them. They think they’re weak. They think they should just be able to “push through.”

But that’s not the answer. The answer is recognizing burnout for what it is—a systemic problem that needs a real solution.

What You Can Do If You’re Burned Out

If you’re feeling exhausted, disillusioned, and overwhelmed, here’s where to start:

1. Stop Blaming Yourself

You didn’t cause this. Burnout is not a personal failure—it’s an outcome of your environment. Recognizing this is the first step toward reclaiming your energy.

2. Identify What’s Draining You

Ask yourself:
🔹 What aspects of my job are most exhausting?
🔹 Where do I feel the most frustration?
🔹 What parts of my work make me feel alive, and what parts make me feel depleted?

Burnout happens when the draining parts of your work outweigh the energizing parts. Identifying those patterns can help you make strategic shifts.

3. Set Boundaries Without Guilt

Good people struggle to set boundaries because they don’t want to let others down. But here’s the reality: If you burn out, you can’t help anyone.

• Say no when you need to.

• Take breaks without apologizing.

• Protect your time and energy.

4. Find Meaning in What You Can Control

When the system is broken, you have two choices:

❌ Focus on everything that’s wrong and let it consume you.
✅ Focus on what you can control and find purpose where you can.

Even in dysfunctional workplaces, you can often find meaningful moments—a patient interaction, a supportive coworker, or a project that excites you.

5. Consider a Change—But Do It Thoughtfully

Sometimes, the healthiest thing you can do is leave. But not all burned-out workers need to quit their jobs—sometimes, they just need to change how they work.

• Can you shift your role?

• Can you reduce your hours?

• Can you advocate for a better workload?

Leaving isn’t always the answer, but staying in a toxic environment without making any changes isn’t the answer either.

Final Thoughts: Burnout is a Wake-Up Call, Not a Verdict

If you’re experiencing burnout, don’t ignore it. It’s not just “stress”—it’s a signal that something in your work environment isn’t sustainable.

And most importantly, it’s not your fault.

You’re not weak. You’re not broken. You’re not alone.

And you don’t have to figure this out by yourself.

Want more support? Explore the burnout recovery resources at the top of this page. Because you deserve better than just surviving—you deserve to thrive.

The 50% Burnout Rate in Healthcare is a Crisis—Why Aren’t We Talking About It?

Introduction: The Silent Epidemic in Healthcare

Half of all healthcare workers are burned out. 50%.

Let that sink in.

Half of the people who dedicate their lives to helping others—doctors, nurses, therapists, social workers—are exhausted, emotionally drained, and questioning whether they can keep going.

And yet, we’re still treating this as if it’s just part of the job. As if it’s normal.

It’s not normal. It’s a crisis. And if we don’t start addressing it, we’re going to lose the very people who hold the healthcare system together.

I saw this firsthand in my own career. I felt the exhaustion creeping in. I saw colleagues struggling. And now, in my work as a burnout coach, I hear the same painful stories over and over again.

Healthcare is on fire, and we’re acting like it’s just a little warm.

Why the 50% Burnout Rate is More Than Just a Number

Burnout isn’t just about feeling tired. It has real, dangerous consequences:

• Medical Errors Increase: Exhausted, burned-out providers are more likely to make mistakes. And in healthcare, mistakes can be life-threatening.

• Turnover Skyrockets: Healthcare workers are leaving in droves, and it’s creating dangerous staffing shortages.

• Compassion Fatigue Grows: The very people who are supposed to provide care no longer have the emotional capacity to do so.

• Healthcare Systems Suffer: When burnout leads to staff shortages, patient outcomes decline, and hospitals struggle to maintain quality care.

And the worst part? Nothing will change until we start talking about it.

Burnout is a Systemic Issue, Not a Personal Failure

One of the biggest myths about burnout is that it’s an individual problem. That if you’re struggling, you just need to “manage your stress better.”

But here’s the truth: Burnout isn’t caused by a lack of resilience. It’s caused by broken systems.

Healthcare workers are burned out because they’re being asked to do more with less—less staff, less support, less time. They’re carrying the weight of impossible expectations, and it’s crushing them.

The solution isn’t another wellness seminar or self-care workshop. It’s real, systemic change.

What Needs to Change in Healthcare

If we want to stop the burnout epidemic, we have to take real action. Here’s where we start:

1. Acknowledge the Problem—Loudly

Burnout won’t go away if we keep pretending it’s not an issue. Leaders need to start openly talking about it, measuring it, and making it a top priority.

2. Stop Normalizing Overwork

Healthcare has a toxic culture of "pushing through." We glorify exhaustion, praise people for working overtime, and treat breaks like a luxury. That mindset needs to die.

• Breaks should be mandatory, not optional.

• Staffing levels should reflect real patient needs.

• Leaders should model healthy work habits, not reinforce burnout culture.

3. Provide Real Mental Health Support

Telling healthcare workers to “take care of themselves” while overloading them with work is meaningless. We need:

• Easily accessible mental health resources (without stigma)

• Workplace policies that support well-being

• A culture shift that encourages rest and recovery

4. Hold Leaders Accountable for Burnout Rates

Burnout isn’t just a personal issue—it’s an organizational one. Leaders should be tracking burnout levels just as seriously as they track patient outcomes.

If 50% of your workforce is burned out, that’s not a personal problem. That’s a leadership failure.

Final Thoughts: We Can’t Afford to Stay Silent

I co-wrote Let’s Talk About Healthcare Burnout: A Prevention and Recovery Guidebook because this crisis isn’t going away—it’s growing.

Burnout isn’t an individual issue. It’s a system-wide disaster that we need to address head-on. The longer we ignore it, the more healthcare workers we lose.

We have to start talking about it. We have to start making changes. And we have to do it now.

If you’re feeling the weight of burnout, you’re not alone. Check out my burnout recovery resources at the top of this page. And if you’re a leader, ask yourself: What are you doing to stop this crisis in your organization?

Let’s stop pretending this is fine. It’s not.

When Workplace Frustration is Killing You

Introduction: The Emotional Toll of Workplace Frustration

I see it all the time with my coaching clients—dedicated, high-performing professionals who feel like they’re drowning in frustration.

Their internal dialogue sounds like this:
👉 “People just don’t get it.”
👉 “They’re not doing things the right way.”
👉 “This place doesn’t share my values.”
👉 “Everything is broken, and no one seems to care.”

And you know what? They’re not wrong. Many workplaces are dysfunctional. Many leaders make poor decisions. Many organizations struggle to live out their values.

But here’s the hard truth: If you don’t dial down this inner dialogue, it will break you.

I know because I lived this firsthand. During the last two years I worked in healthcare, my frustration was so overwhelming that it was killing me. And it’s hurting my coaching clients, too.

Why This Type of Frustration is Dangerous

We think that stewing in frustration is just part of the job. But in reality, it’s a direct path to burnout. Here’s why:

1. It Keeps You in a State of Stress
   Constantly focusing on what’s wrong keeps your nervous system on high alert. Over time, this drains your energy and leads to exhaustion.
   
   

2. It Creates a Sense of Powerlessness
   The more you dwell on things outside your control, the more hopeless you feel. This is a key contributor to burnout.
   
   

3. It Damages Your Health
   Chronic stress leads to real physical symptoms—headaches, digestive issues, sleep problems, and even increased risk of heart disease.
   
   

4. It Doesn’t Actually Change Anything
   Let’s be honest: replaying workplace frustrations in your head doesn’t fix them. It just makes you suffer more.
   
   

How to Break Free From Workplace Frustration

So, what can you do? How do you stop frustration from ruining your mental health without becoming apathetic?

Here are the strategies I use with my coaching clients:

1. Identify What You Can and Can’t Control

Frustration thrives when we focus on things we wish we could change but have no power over. Instead of trying to fix the entire system, shift your energy to what you can influence.

🔹 Can’t control? Leadership decisions, company policies, other people’s values.
🔹 Can control? How you show up, your boundaries, how you communicate concerns.

2. Dial Down the Internal Commentary

Your thoughts shape your reality. If you constantly reinforce how frustrating your workplace is, it will feel even worse. Instead, reframe your mindset:

❌ “This place is broken.” → ✅ “I can do good work despite the challenges.”
❌ “No one cares about values here.” → ✅ “I can live out my values no matter what.”

This isn’t toxic positivity—it’s reclaiming control over your mindset.

3. Build a Healthy Detachment

If your workplace is dysfunctional, you need to protect yourself emotionally. This doesn’t mean you stop caring—it means you stop letting it consume you.

🔹 Set mental boundaries: “I will give my best effort at work, but I won’t carry its dysfunction home.”
🔹 Find an outlet: Talk to a mentor, coach, or therapist about your frustrations so they don’t fester.
🔹 Consider an exit strategy: If your job is truly toxic, start planning your next move.

4. Focus on Meaningful Work

Burnout is often the result of caring deeply in a system that doesn’t seem to care back. Instead of focusing on everything that’s wrong, redirect your energy to work that matters.

🔹 Who are you helping?
🔹 What impact do you make?
🔹 Where can you find fulfillment despite the challenges?

For me, that shift in focus helped me survive my last two years in healthcare. I stopped obsessing over the system and started focusing on the individuals I could help.

Final Thoughts: Don’t Let Frustration Break You

It’s okay to be frustrated. It’s normal to feel disillusioned. But if you let workplace frustration consume you, it will destroy your health, happiness, and career.

The key is not eliminating frustration—it’s managing it so it doesn’t manage you.

If this resonates with you, know that you’re not alone. And if you need support, check out the burnout recovery resources at the top of this page.