How Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. Changed My Direction in Life

Martin Luther King Jr. changed many lives. He changed mine in 2008.

At the time, I was serving in ministry at my home church—a good place, and a comfortable one. But it was clear that season was ending. The question wasn’t if I would leave, but what came next.

I saw two options:

1. Apply to serve as a preacher somewhere else, or

2. Go back to school.

Kristen and I decided to step away for a few days and think. We took a retreat to Colorado with one simple purpose: to reflect on the previous five years and discern what was next.

In the lodge where we were staying, I found a biography of Dr. King. I picked it up and read it cover to cover.

For years, I had admired his oratory, his courage, and the way he wove faith into public life. But this time, something new stood out to me. One reason Dr. King was chosen to be a public leader wasn’t only his conviction or charisma—it was the two letters before his name.

Dr.

His education opened doors. It gave him credibility in rooms of power and allowed his voice to carry further. That realization mattered more to me than I expected.

During that retreat, largely inspired by Dr. King’s example, Kristen and I decided that I would go back to school.

That decision changed the trajectory of my life.

It led to exposure to a more expansive view of faith and the world (with deep gratitude to Tom Thatcher and Jon Weatherly). It qualified me for the role of Director of Chaplaincy at Parkview Health. Eventually, it led to earning a graduate certificate in Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion from Cornell University.

Today, as I watch news coming out of Minnesota and witness the continued rise of violence, polarization, and othering in our country, I find myself returning again to Dr. King’s words—and to his insistence that justice requires persistence.

“No, no, we are not satisfied, and we will not be satisfied until justice rolls down like waters and righteousness like a mighty stream.”

New Year. New You.

Yeah, I know. That title is kind of B.S.

January is a 💩time to start a new year. It’s cold. We’re sick. We’re broke from the holidays.

And tired. Oh. So. Tired.

You know the stats—92% of people give up on their new year resolutions within a month or so.

It’s January 16, so maybe you already feel lost.

What Burned Out People Need

What burned out people need isn’t to double-down on the grind or to shame ourselves into submission.

We do need something for ourselves, though.

We need—-agency.

Personal agency is an individual's capacity to make choices, take purposeful actions, and feel they have control over their own life.

When we have a stable sense of personal agency, it enables us to pursue our own goals rather than being passively controlled by other forces.

Burnout is the thief of agency.

Burnout and Your Sense of Self

Let’s revisit the three characteristics of burnout:

1. Emotional exhaustion—”I am too tired to make decisions to care for myself.”

2. Cynicism—”Nothing really matters.”

3. Lack of personal efficacy (loss of purpose)—”I don’t really matter.”

The most meaning endeavor that a burned-out professional can take is the path of Rediscovering Themselves.

Have you lost yourself in your work?
Lost touch with friends?
Unsure what you would do in your free time (if you had any)?
Feel like you are “always on” when it comes to your work?

Rediscover Yourself

Through bucket lists, self-forgiveness, and keeping our work in perspective, we can regain the elusive sense of personal agency.

Enroll in Rediscovering Yourself, an on-demand course that will help you:

• Figure out what you want to do

• Gain emotional distance from your work and

• Regain confidence that you matter—not just the work you do

The course will take you about an hour, and you’ll end up with your very own bucket list, a renewed sense of self, and boundaries help make it stick.

Preview the course here.

8 Meeting Tweaks That Give Your Team an Hour Back Every Week

Most workplaces aren’t burned out simply because people are working too hard. They’re burned out because of meaningless tasks and meetings.

Meetings aren’t the enemy, but the way we run them often is. Inefficient meetings drain energy, delay decisions, and communicate (even unintentionally) that time is optional and attention is unlimited.

Here are eight practical ways to give your team back at least an hour every week—without adding another program, app, or consultant.

1. Default to 25- or 50-Minute Meetings

The calendar invites are a problem. When everything is set for 30 or 60 minutes, we fill the time just because it’s there. Shorten by five or ten minutes—people use the time better, and they get a breath before the next call.

2. Don’t Start with Updates—Send Them Ahead of Time

If information can be read, it shouldn’t be spoken live. Email or post updates before the meeting. Use the meeting for decisions, obstacles, and input. This small change can cut 20 minutes instantly. Now, coworkers come to the meeting on the same page and the first question is—”What do we need to discuss before we make a decision?”

3. Assign a “Decision Owner,” Not Just a Facilitator

Someone should be responsible for making sure every topic ends with: What did we decide? Who’s doing it? By when?
You can rotate the role weekly or by topic. Accountability and accomplishment are burnout reducers.

4. Call On People to Contribute

You can sense when someone needs to participate, but hasn’t raised their hand yet. Call on them and ask if they have anything to add. This will save you time later because their input matters.

5. Set a Clear Agenda

Do not, I repeat, DO NOT, meet simply to meet. Come together with a set number of topics that need decisions. If you don’t have anything for today’s meeting, do everyone a favor and cancel it!

6. Start with Clarity: Purpose + Success Sentence

Open with:

• “The purpose of this meeting is…”

• “By the end of this meeting, success looks like…”
  It sounds simple, but most meetings begin with “So… let’s get started.”

7. End with a Two-Sentence Debrief

Ask: “Was this meeting a good use of your time? What would make it better next week?”
It keeps you honest. It also tells your team you care about time as much as output.

8. Make One Meeting a “Quiet Meeting”

This works especially well in healthcare and education settings. Give people the agenda and five minutes of silent reading or thinking at the beginning. Reflection creates better decisions than rapid-fire reactions.

Not Sure How Burned Out Your Team Really Is?

You can't improve what you don’t measure. Take (or share) a quick burnout assessment at MyBurnoutTest.com to see where you’re starting in 2026.

Want More Than Meeting Tweaks?

These are the kinds of practical strategies I teach in leadership workshops—how to reduce burnout by fixing systems instead of fixing people.

If your organization is ready for a deeper conversation, you can explore my speaking and training options here:
https://patrickriecke.com/live-presentations

Or, for ongoing tools, scripts, reflection guides, and burnout recovery pathways, visit The Burnout Hub:
https://www.myburnouthub.com/learn-more

From Burnout to Bucket List

In October 2019 the health system I worked for invited inspirational speaker Ben Nemtin to deliver a keynote speech. His presentation changed my life.

His central question was: What do you want to do before you die?

“At the end of their lives, more people regret the things they didn’t do, than the things they did do,” Ben explained.

In my previous roles I have led teams as they have responded to more than 15,000 patient deaths. We had a front-row seat when many of our citizens arrived at the end of their earthly journey. So, I knew that Ben is on to something. But for me, there was one big problem.

This question feels, I don’t know … selfish.

When I was a Christian pastor, I lived my life with a certain (incomplete) framework. My mental script has gone like this:

“What is the right thing to do?”

“How can I be more selfless?”

“What does the world need and how can I deliver it?”

Perfectly fine questions, and I believed I was pleasing God with this framework for my life. But it has had some negative outcomes.

Living my life through the lens of “should” instead of “want” has led to:

1. Frustration (with myself and others)

2. Trying to control (myself and others)

3. Shame (when I did something wrong)

4. Resentment (when things didn’t turn out the “right” way)

When Ben came out with his “Bucket List Journal.” I was still living with frustration and shame. Even so, I preordered a copy of the journal. I took it as a sign when, the next week, Ben returned to my area, and spoke at a fundraiser for Erin’s House for Grieving Children. My wife and I arrived early, visited with Ben, and enjoyed his talk.

I realized it was time to start making my own bucket list. Could it help me adjust my framework so I felt less shame and resentment?

Tentatively, I started compiling my list.

Here are a few items I have included:

48. Visit the Holy Land
65. Attend an Indiana University men’s basketball game at Simon Skjodt Assembly Hall in Bloomington
5. Have lunch with Ben Nemtin
36. Be a keynote speaker for an event outside of the United States

Here are a few that I have already crossed off:

60. Boil a tea kettle until it whistles (yes, I lived to be 44 years old and had only seen this on TV)
18. Own a three-year supply of firewood
58. Set up a nice, quiet home office
11. Work with a financial advisor

My list is evolving and my goal is to hit 100 bucket list items. And it’s starting to make an impact (even though I am still a bucket list novice). In fact, the list might be decreasing my shame and resentment.

Item No. 18 (above) is a perfect example: Own a three-year supply of firewood.

One summer, I added this item to my bucket list. Then, I noticed that my neighbor had a huge supply of firewood. It ran the length of one side of his house, and they didn’t seem to use it. But I don’t know this neighbor very well, even though we have been neighbors for years. And I feel guilty about that.

Every day that summer, I planned to ask him if I could buy some of his wood. It would be a lot easier than transporting that much wood from someplace else. I saw him from time to time. I wanted to ask, but I kept chickening out.

This is what was going through my mind:

The right thing would have been to be a better neighbor. But I haven’t done that. I feel ashamed. Why would he care if I want some easy-to-transport firewood? In fact, he probably hates me because I haven’t been the neighbor I should have been.

See what I mean? Living with the framework of solely trying to do the right thing led to shame, distance and an extreme lack of firewood.

The lie I believed was that my desires don’t matter.

Once we believe that lie, it’s a small leap to the next lie–that I don’t matter.

One day, I was mowing the lawn. I had my shirt off, which is kind of gross and probably the wrong thing to do for a man my age. Just then, my neighbor appeared out of his garage. I swallowed hard and ignored my inner critic telling me I should keep my mouth shut since I am a bad neighbor. I let go of the mower handle, killing the engine, but breathing life into my own desires.

“Hey, Bob (not his real name),” I stammered. “Uh, I was gonna buy some firewood, so I thought I would. Well, I wonder. Would you mind selling me some of yours, if you don’t mind?”

I swallowed hard again. I felt like I was speaking a foreign language. The language of “want” instead of the language of “should.”

He didn’t miss a beat, probably because he hadn’t rehearsed this interaction in his head a hundred times as I had.

“Oh, take as much as you want. We don’t use it.”

“OK,” I gained a little confidence. “Would $50 be enough if I took about half of it?”

“You don’t need to pay me anything, you’re welcome to it,” he said.

“Thanks,” was all I said.

But what I meant to say was, “This crosses off No. 18 on my bucket list of things I want to do before I die. It was super hard for me to ask you this, but now I feel so affirmed that living this way is really possible. I feel free and unashamed; like I am worth it! I am valuable enough to have a three-year supply of firewood. Thank you, Bob. Thank you!”

Upon reflection, it’s probably good that I didn’t say all of that. He would have thought I was nuts.

Reframing my life as an adventure where I get to do things I want to do (before I die) is having the following effects:

• Increased energy – Pursuing something I want is more energizing than avoiding a wrong action.

• Inspiring others – I signed up for an online course called “Travel-Hacking” to become a more knowledgeable traveler (bucket list item No. 57). Immediately, I texted our four kids. They replied, and I quote, “Yessirrr” and “Let’s go, Dad.” They included a goat emoji, meaning I was the “greatest of all time.” That might be an overstatement. 

• Increased gratitude – I look at my pile of firewood often. I sit in my new quiet home office, and I feel deeply thankful. These are things I wanted. Now I have them. And I thank God.

• Decreased shame – Nothing busts shame and resentment like crossing something off my list!

• Desire affirming – I find joy in crossing things off my bucket list.

Recently, I again mustered the courage to ask for help crossing an item off my list. I’ll keep the specifics to myself, but I mention it because another person was involved in making it possible, and I think creating a bucket list has a ripple effect.

After making my request, the young man working behind the counter clickety-clacked the keyboard. His name tag told me that he was from India and his name was Joe. In a few swift movements, he granted my request with ease. My eyes brimmed with tears of joy.

“Joe,” I said in a solemn voice. “Do you know what a bucket list is?” He gave me a confused look at first. “A list of things you want to do before you die.” I offered. His face registered recognition.

With tears, I said, “You just helped me cross an item off my bucket list.” I stared into this stranger’s eyes for an uncomfortably long time. “Thank you.”

“You are welcome, sir, very welcome. Thank you.” Joe’s eyes got a little glassy as well, knowing he made a difference in someone else’s life.

How about you? What do you want to do before you die?

Do you have a bucket list?

Are you worth it?

Could you start one today? Record it on paper or a note on your phone.

What’s the next step for you to pursue your desires?

10 Phrases to Leave Behind in 2025 (And What to Say Instead in 2026)

The calendar changed. Your burnout didn’t.

A new year doesn’t magically erase moral distress, overload, or the fatigue that’s been building since long before the holidays. But the way we talk about work, rest, responsibility, and ourselves does shape how we experience them.

So instead of setting unrealistic resolutions, here’s a healthier approach for 2026:
Retire the language that kept you stuck in burnout—and replace it with words that make space for recovery, clarity, and agency.

Here are 10 phrases to leave in 2025, and what to say instead this year.

1. “It’s fine. I’ll just handle it.”

Say instead: “I can help—but not on this timeline, or not without support.”
Because saying yes to everything is not responsibility. It’s avoidance of conflict at your own expense.

2. “Everyone is counting on me.”

Say instead: “This matters, but it doesn’t depend entirely on me.”
Burnout grows in isolation. Healthy teams share the work—and the weight.

3. “This is just how it is here.”

Say instead: “Something has to change, and I’m willing to start the conversation.”
Acceptance is not the same as resignation. One keeps you sane. The other keeps you stuck.

4. “I’ll rest when things slow down.”

Say instead: “Rest is part of how I keep going.”
Things won’t slow down. Burnout isn’t cured by waiting for calm—it’s prevented by building rest into the chaos.

You can take breaks along the path of service.

5. “If I don’t do it, no one will.”

Say instead: “If I am the only one who can do this, we have a systems problem.”
Martyrdom is not a winning strategy.

6. “I can push through.”

Say instead: “My limits aren’t the problem, they are what make me human.”
Pushing through is how people end up in urgent care, HR meetings, or drafting resignation emails at 2 a.m.

7. “It’s selfish to say no.”

Say instead: “Saying no allows me to say yes to the things that matter.”
Neither your time nor your energy are infinite.

8. “I don’t have time to think about what I want.”

Say instead: “Pursing personal desires isn’t just for others—it’s for me, too.”
If you’re not directing your life, exhaustion will.

9. “Other people have it worse.”

Say instead: “Pain isn’t a competition. Mine still deserves attention.”
Compassion for others shouldn't require neglecting yourself.

10. “This is normal.”

Say instead: “It’s common. That doesn’t make it healthy.”
Burnout may be common in healthcare, leadership, education, or corporate life—but that doesn’t mean it’s acceptable.

Want a Clearer Starting Point for 2026?

If you're not sure where your burnout level really is heading into the new year, take two minutes and find out here:
MyBurnoutTest.com

Looking Ahead

In 2026, don’t promise to be stronger, tougher, or more resilient.
Promise to be more honest.
With your energy. Your limits. Your values. Your voice.

If your organization needs a speaker or workshop on burnout, moral distress, or creating a healthier workplace culture this year, you can check my availability here:
https://patrickriecke.com/live-presentations

Or, if you want ongoing resources, reflection tools, and a recovery path you can actually follow—explore The Burnout Hub:
https://www.myburnouthub.com/learn-more