What TO Say to a Grieving Person (Tip #4)

4. What you are feeling is normal

Kristen and I led a live online event around the topic of miscarriage and stillbirth. I asked participants to type in the chat emotions that a mom might feel when losing a baby. They listed emotions like:

Sadness
Embarrassment
Confusion
Anger
Guilt
Lostness
Envy
Unbelief
“It’s not fair,” and
Gratitude

All of those feelings are normal. 

And we can affirm all those feelings in a grieving person. 

No feeling should be considered wrong or discouraged. 

It might make me more comfortable if the person is sad instead of angry; grateful instead of envious. 

But it’s not about me. 

If the person feels anything short of suicidal (a different topic altogether), we can affirm those feelings as normal. Do NOT try to talk them out of their feelings.

"What you are feeling is normal."